Tuesday, February 2, 2010

New England Yankee just doesn't have the same ring...

So. I'm back. No, not there. Here. In Boston. WTF has gone wrong you ask? Everything.

But let's get to the important stuff.

Can I still be an Amsterdam Yankee? Will anyone care? How long until I start to suffer from Americ-ass? Can I afford to have my bakfiets shipped here?

Will I tire of grocery shopping? Will I ever start my new intercontinental Amsterdam-Boston project? (Very hush-hush. Will update as I progress. If I progress...) Can my children go to Dutch school? (Yes, they can. It's a rhetorical question.) Will I be happy in my mother's basement? (I think we can all answer that now.)

Will I still have any friends here? (Hi, Pat.) Will the 14-year-old truck's brakes finally give out once and for all and leave me in a twisted, fiery mess avec crotch fruit? (God, I hate French.) Can I find a job, social life, peace of mind in the cradle of my home town? Will I have a freakout and go back? Is there a better cookie than a stroopwafel? Must I make it my duty to find out?

How many breakfast cereals can I eat until I get tired of them? (So far I've killed Frosted Mini-Wheats, Honey Nut Cheerios, Lucky Charms and Fruit Loops.)

Let's just try to avoid the obvious.. How much longer until I have a nervous breakdown? (10...9...8...)


Patrick said...

I don't know all of the answers to your questions (yes I do...just being humble), so I did what any good, rational skeptic would do: consulted the Magic 8 Ball. This should clear everything up for you. Starting at the important stuff:
1. As I see it, yes.
2. Reply hazy, try again. (No, I won't)
3. It is decidedly so. (kinda meaningless, unless you want to rephrase your question in yes/no terms.
4. My reply is no. (uh-oh...)
5. Without a doubt.
6. Better not tell you now.
7. Skipped...not asking rhetorical questions.
8. Skipped.. not a real question
9. Most likey. (Hi, Suka)
10. No.
11. Yes. (damn, this thing is good. Even 3 questions in one sentence can't fool it.)
12. Concentrate and ask again.
13. Signs point to yes.
14. My sources say no.
15. Most likely. Doesn't make sense.
16. Reply hazy, try again.

So there ya go. Technology solving your problems. That should take a little of the load off of your mind. And if not, you can at least console yourself with the knowledge that I wasted even more of my life writing this than you did reading it.

It's going to work out. Hang in there.

Canucky Woman said...


I wish I had some answers for you...but I haven't tried going home yet myself (and may never, curse the Canadian Student Loan "system" which learnt all its tricks from the Dutch IND, I swear to gawd)...

But I look forward to joining you (even cyberly) for the journey as you discover the answers for yourself...Sterkte, woman!