You spin me right round...

I thought I'd try a spin class for some exercise since I miss biking so much, and since I'm fighting the constant battle of not turning into an evil American twin version of myself...fat and so lazy that I'll watch the Jersey Shore with my mouth hanging open rather than get off my ass to find the remote control.

I'm still pretty well conditioned from cycling, so I figured it would be hard, but nothing too awful. Fuck, man, did I have my ass handed to me? Yes, I did.

Spin class scoffed at my Dutch biking experience. (OK, maybe I DID bike with a joint hanging out of my mouth, and occasionally with an open umbrella in one hand, but I'd like to think that coordination counts for something. I've even seen people in Holland bike while reading the newspaper. Young couples bike holding hands. Dorks.)

Here are a couple of things I realized:

-There are no hills in Holland, and "creating" a hill by turning up the bike tension is just fucking stupid.
-There is no reason to EVER bike at speeds that high (I mean, would I be getting chased by something? I'd let the fucker catch me, if biking like that were the only alternative.)
-Sitting UP on a bike is much more comfortable than hunching over one.
-When you stop pedaling on a bike in real life, you coast. Ain't no coasting in spin class. Stop pedaling and your feet fall out of the foot straps and you look like a douche.

I thought I was going to barf about 10 minutes in. To be fair, I DID pedal the entire class without cheating by turning down the bike tension, but I could NOT bounce up and down and stand and sit in the trained-seal way everyone else did. The teacher said I did "awesome" for my first class, which I'd like to think she meant, but wow, I was shocked by how hard it was.

I was so happy when it was over, and I felt that great "having-exercised" high. The trick then became not going into Dunkin' Donuts next door for a celebratory coffee roll. Sigh.