Why don't people want to interview me? Why do they keep sending me form letters? Do they even read my resume and see how perfect I am for them? Why will no one hire me?
I am such a nice person. I am such a good editor. I'm, like, wikkid smaht.
Doesn't anyone need me? I know they do. I have seen these horrific Dutch publications. I have spotted mistakes on billboards. I have picked through D's contracts and company documents with a red pen, sweating, thinking of the poor people who have to sign these horribly inaccurate, misspelled nightmares of legally binding contracts.
HIRE ME. Fucking hire me! HELP ME HELP YOU. You Dutch companies need me so much it's not even funny.
We need groceries. We need a new mattress. We need curtains. Our insurance company is gunning for us.
Come on, you Dutch bastards. Give in and admit you need me.