Friday, March 6, 2009

Will Edit for Food

Why don't people want to interview me? Why do they keep sending me form letters? Do they even read my resume and see how perfect I am for them? Why will no one hire me?

I am such a nice person. I am such a good editor. I'm, like, wikkid smaht.

Doesn't anyone need me? I know they do. I have seen these horrific Dutch publications. I have spotted mistakes on billboards. I have picked through D's contracts and company documents with a red pen, sweating, thinking of the poor people who have to sign these horribly inaccurate, misspelled nightmares of legally binding contracts.

HIRE ME. Fucking hire me! HELP ME HELP YOU. You Dutch companies need me so much it's not even funny.

We need groceries. We need a new mattress. We need curtains. Our insurance company is gunning for us.

Come on, you Dutch bastards. Give in and admit you need me.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Suka, Suka, Suka. For how long have you been here? Don't you know that being smarter than average can get you deported? Doe maar gewoon, mevrouw. Bad English is gewoon, weet je?

Seriously, I commiserate

Anonymous said...

Oh Suka...Just thought I'd take a peak at your blog after the link you left on elynx about the book swap.

Glad I did...I was a copywriter in a past life who never did find a job here...They don't CARE if the English is shite, because it ain't Dutch. As long as you moosh together a few English words, it's KEWL, even if it makes no sense.

The competition is too stiff and my CV of jobs from my one-horse town just doesn't measure up, even if my portfolio does.

I gave up. All that education and now I'm only qualified to be the one thing I vowed I'd never be: a secretary. Maybe one day my life here will be fodder for some book. Wanna be my editor? *grin*