Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Holland STILL sucks?!

You know - I've been writing (or NOT writing) this blog for a couple (3?) years now, and - more amazing than the fact that people actually read it - is the way people get here.

I come up like #3 or #4 in searches for "Holland Sucks" and "Amsterdam Sucks." For all the hits I get from those searches, I really feel disloyal to those people. I should write MUCH MORE about the various forms of Dutch suckage, but basically, I'm just too darn busy bitching about my own life. Ahhhh. The nutshell of Americanhood. "I hear you, but how does that relate to ME?"

And why exactly are people searching for "Holland Sucks"? That's really more of a statement, isn't it? I mean, wouldn't "Does Holland Suck?" or "Holland and the ways it sucks" be more appropriate and informative?

I don't search about things I already know. If I did, what would my list look like....?

"My ex is an asshole" (see previous post)
"Water is a tasty and healthy drink"
"It snows a lot here"
"Trees: tall, green, oxygen-giving"
"Ingrown toenails should be avoided"
"The usage of 'you and I' versus 'you and me'"

(OK, I admit, that last one is valid for many people. Perhaps not for you and me. Why don't you and I go look it up, just for fun and information. It might do you and me some good to know when to use "you and I" when we're talking to ourselves and others. But I digress. Then again, digression is kinda my thing. Oh dear. I have written myself into a little circle here, haven't I?)

In any event - that search will either bring you here or here. Neither scintillating.

So - to the "suck" people: What information are you looking for? 'Cause I got a whole bag of suck right here with your name on it - just tell me which flavor you want. I am extremely versatile in the bitching department. Some people find it my winningest quality (you poor bastard:)). But I suspect y'all are just looking for voetbal scores or landse cup info. Nietwaar?

Me, me, me... Enough about me, let's talk more about you. How do you like my blog?

1 comment:

Balthasar Gerard said...

I don't know about everyone else, but I looked for it because I wanted to make sure I wasn't the only one who hated Holland. Wintertime here can get everyone down, but it just seems more and more to me that it's not just the bad weather and darkness that is the problem here. This place really sucks and I can't wait to get the hell out of here. I've created my own blog dedicated solely to the suckiness of NL, which you can find at:

http://hollandblows.blogspot.com

I want to make this the one-stop shop for everything about holland's shittyness. I want this to be a community project, so if you'd like to write an article about a particular aspect of Dutch life that bothers you, I'll gladly put it up.