Sunday, January 23, 2011

This just in...

So, one year later, I get email from my ex. Not just any email - a response to the email I sent him just over ONE YEAR AGO asking him to please work it out with me so we could be a family. One of those heart-rending, self-prostrating, remember-how-great-it-was, whatever-it-takes kind of emails.

The response that took him a year to write said "I miss u 2." I had looked at my blackberry while I was half asleep and saw this message on it, so I kind of befuddledly replied "A year later? Are you kidding me?"

Now, what could have provoked this? I'd say "maybe he was stoned," but that is sort of his natural state. Maybe he WASN'T stoned. Maybe his joint-rolling hand was crushed in some kind of industrial accident, forcing him to take a 20-minute dope break before learning to roll with his feet. That could have sobered him up long enough to write four half-words.

Maybe he means the band.

Maybe he made a New Year's resolution to FINALLY plough through that overstuffed inbox and answer everyone he owes an email.

Maybe he finally lost a road rage fist fight and the non-retard lobe of his brain got knocked (partially) back into place, leaving him retroactively sorry, but only semi-literate.

Maybe he's just been REALLY busy.

Maybe he ran out of ironed shirts and figures four words might be enough to get me back so he doesn't have to send them out.

Maybe he figures I might remember his birthday is coming up and buy him a present! Awww. And after not sending any Christmas presents to the kids....

Well, whatever the reason was, if he writes me again, I'll just be needing the two words.

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