(Pijper - pronounced "piper" - means someone who gives blow jobs. Time to pay the pijper, get it? I made a funny...)
I didn't pay my cable/phone bill and I am shut off. The company, UPC, is run by a bunch of dickwads. I was behind in payments, so I called, paid what was past due, and they shut me off anyways, while pretending everything was just peachy keen on the telephone. Pijpers.
I am pirating a signal from an unwitting neighbor by balancing my laptop on a windowsill. I should be back up for real in a few days.
All of that to say; sorry I haven't been posting a lot. I'm a big, fat loser. Actually, I'm just a big loser, but I will be a fat loser too, if I don't let up on the Christmas chocolate and crap. What is it about the birth of Jesus that makes us pig out?