Friday, April 24, 2009

New Course Offerings!!


How NOT to be an Inconsiderate Prick
People constantly calling you names you just don't understand? Can't keep out of fights in traffic jams? Spouses keep divorcing you even though there's nothing wrong with YOU? Then this course is for you!

Among other topics, we'll cover:

--Why the sun rises and sets (HINT: Nothing to do with you!)
--How to stop getting punched and chased with crowbars
--Using an ashtray in place of houseplants
--Remembering to acknowledge special occasions (Not just for the elderly anymore!)
--R-E-S-P-E-C-T; More than just a catchy tune!

Special subjects for the advanced:

--The words "I'm sorry" and why the heck everyone's so nuts about them
--Loneliness and depression - Why they aren't solved by condescension and ridicule
--The End of the World and why it won't come about by lack of mopping
--Overcoming the scourge of Dutch heritage

Special Companion Course taught by partner of the above teacher:

How to Become an Inconsiderate Prick

--No curriculum submitted. Bring your own comb.


Anonymous said...

If I bring my own comb AND a mobile phone, which I would leave on during class, would I get advanced credit??


Lurrrrve this post!!

Ferruchi said...

"--Loneliness and depression - Why they aren't solved by condescension and ridicule"Hmm, I guess I could learn a thing or two.
This would be a bold, new concept for me.

I mean, if they aren't solved by this tried and true method, what else could there be?

Where do I send my check for the course?

[Frickin hysterical post]